Aiya’s brother is 5 years old and although we try to explain to him about Aiya’s condition when he asks ‘When is Aiya going to walk?’ or ‘When will she be able to play with me?’, he is yet to understand that she is different to most children.
Last week he asked when Aiya would be joining him at school. When I told him she will have to go to a different school as she will need help with her learning, he didn’t register that she needed extra help. All he was concerned about was being able to see her in the playground like the other children in his school see their brothers and sisters. My beautiful boy loves being a big brother and loves the idea that he has a sibling. He is amazing with his sister and loves having her around. He can’t wait for her to actively play with him and it breaks my heart every time I have to explain to him that she may not run and skip like other children. He looks at other children with siblings and wants their relationship, he wants Aiya to chase him and he wants her to participate in his role play games.
One of the reasons I wanted to have a second child was because I didn’t want my son to be alone when I wasn’t here anymore. I wanted him to have the joy of having a brother or sister, even if that meant they would annoy each other. Your siblings are your connection to your childhood, they are the ones who remember and retell embarrassing stories as you get older. They are the ones who prop you up when you don’t even know you’re slipping. They are there even when you may not need them. I wanted my children to have the crazy bond that you can only have if you shared the same childhood, shared the same grief and if you licked food in front of them so that they don’t eat it.
No matter how much you love or hate your sibling(s), there is only you that share the exact same story and have lived the same life. If one of you leaves the world before they’ve had the chance to complete their story, there will always be a part missing, there will always be a story untold. I hope I raise my little boy with enough strength to weather the storm of his sister’s life and to read these words and remember that although she can’t do all those things he thought she would, she loves him to the moon and back.
Project Aiya 