Although 16th March 2016 was one of the best days of my life, the whole day remains a blur and I have snippets of memories of what happened. I realise now that I didn’t remember what time Aiya was born, I had to look it up. I don’t remember dropping my son at nursery that morning although I must have done, because I would have made sure he was settled before I went to the hospital. We had a lot of conversations about Mummy going to the hospital to see if we could get a baby and we’d never spent a night apart. I can’t image that I didn’t give him an extra hug when I dropped him off. I know my sisters and mum arrived from Yorkshire that day because I had left them dinner in the fridge. I can’t tell you what time they were expected to arrive or if they were the ones to pick up my son from nursery. These are all important details which under any other circumstance I would not have forgotten.
I remember walking on to the ward, seeing the consultant having her morning huddle with the nurses and greeting her with a smile like we were there for a visit. My husband and I were composed that morning and not emotional. We had been building up to this day for the past 20 weeks and it felt like the calm before the storm, we were bracing ourselves for what was to come.
We were shown into a room and I was asked to change into a gown whilst I waited for the anaesthetist to come see me. The consultant and the anaesthetist arrived and asked about my last delivery and if there were any complications. I don’t remember waiting around for long, we arrived at the hospital about 9:30am and according to my records I was taken into theatre at 11:30am. Your brain has a way of finding a way to cope in stressful situations and mine must have decided to shut down. I don’t recall worrying, I wasn’t crying, I just remember feeling very still.
Aiya was born at 12:07pm. The doctor showed me this little grey baby over the screen, I could hear a very faint wail and she was then whisked away to be examined by the paediatrician and other specialists. I didn’t know what was happening, what does the grey mean? I couldn’t take my eyes off the paediatrician’s back. After what must have been about a minute but felt like an age, I heard her cry and felt I could breathe again. They briefly let me and my husband hold her, I couldn’t believe it, she was here and she was breathing on her own. The storm had missed us, my baby girl had proven everyone wrong and made it into this world.
Project Aiya 